I got my head but my head is unraveling
cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart but my heart's no good
you're the only one that's understood
Adam’s all shaken up since he’s come onto the Angel set. Out of place. Out of time.
“Be the anti-Jayne,” says Joss and he can do that. Wear a suit. Be clever. Be cold. Be big. Be scary. Be hard.
That last part isn’t a problem with James Marsters around and Adam can see no reason why he can’t have him, not with all the fucking flirtatiousness that the guy keeps throwing his way. Marsters is the only reason that Adam was interested in playing Hamilton on this lifeless show and he’s itching to dom ‘Spike’ into submission, preferably as soon as fucking possible on any available hard surface.
To start off with he plays a waiting (wanting) game and watches like a big cat, ready to pounce, but when the hanging around is over and it’s time to take his bitch, he gets a short sharp shock.
“Keep your dirty fucking hands off my boy,” says Boreanaz, territorial sneer in place as he sidles past him on set.
Adam’s thrown completely. All he’s ever seen between the two shining stars of the show is vicious animosity, but now he’s getting the definite feeling that things are running a whole lot deeper and that only makes him want that pretty bitch’s ass even more.
He makes his play, running a finger down James’ spine when no one except Boreanaz is looking. Feels the man quiver like he’s primed and ready for fucking and loves it when James leans back into him.
“Mine,” he mouths, but not in Marsters’s direction.
I come along but I don't know where you're
taking me
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me
turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky
the more I give to you the more I die
A couple of weeks on and Adam’s no closer toward his goal than living with a raging hard-on and a persistent requirement to fuck his wife. He almost feels guilty. He doesn’t like using the woman that way, but needs must.
He wonders if Boreanaz is doing the same thing, but reckons not seeing as it’s pretty much a cert that the man has got Marsters riding his cock whenever he wants. That galls Adam because he should be the owner of that particular body.
It’s not that James isn't willing, it’s just he’s not willing quite yet. That said, the man’s one hell of a prick-tease, falling over himself to rub up against Adam at every opportunity until he’s squirming, barely able to hold back as he hides his need just below the surface. Adam’s good at that. Don’t mean he’s not going fucking crazy over it though.
James is his obsession and the man knows it and uses it like a pro, sliding up against Adam at meetings, pushing his ass against him like a ho even when Joss is in the middle of one of his big speeches. Adam don’t give a shit about the show being wasted and, if he was in his right mind, he’d be gloating at the newly unemployed Boreanaz, but he can’t, not with James playing him like one of his fucking guitars -- the little bitch.
“You’re gonna pay,” he whispers, leaning in to press his mouth close to James’s ear, all the while keeping his eyes fixed on Boreanaz’s expressionless face. The tears come later when Bo is playing eponymous hero(ine) to a tee. Shame he can’t act that well when it counts, 'cause then they may have got another season out of the big bad bosses that be.
Adam’s so hard all the time now he feels like he’s gonna explode. Full of frustration. Full of come.
and I want you
When opportunity knocks, Adam isn’t stupid enough to ignore it.
There’s been another one of those arguments between Marsters and Boreanaz, but this time it’s different. Adam’s not dumb like some of the character parts he plays and he’s learnt quickly how to tell the difference between sniping in a ‘fuck me’ way and sniping in a ‘fuck you’ way.
His cock tingles with anticipation as he looks from Boreanaz to Marsters and insinuates his way in between them.
“Wanna go for a drink?” he asks,rubbing circles on James’s back as the guy lights up and coughs hard.
“Sounds good,” James answers breathlessly in between clearing his lungs out.
“Should get that seen to,” says Adam, slipping a hand down James’s spine and into the small of his back.
“Will do, soon as this crap is over.” James leans exhaustedly into the contact.
Adam can’t resist a backward look at Boreanaz who’s looking sullen and standing there with his arms folded. James might well be using him, but if Adam gets what he wants out of the deal then he won't be complaining.
you are the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug
“D’you play golf?” asks Adam conversationally when they’re sat in a booth in a crappy downtown bar. He thinks maybe he ought to talk a little before groping.
“I play around,” smiles James, “I like ball games.”
The fingers sliding up his thigh are all that it takes. The last thing Adam wants is James getting toppy on him. He grabs the smaller man by his wrist and leads him out of the bar, feeling James’s breath fast and feverish against his cheek as he twists him around and pushes him into the passenger seat of his car.
They don’t drive far, just to the back of an abandoned warehouse where it’s finally the time and the place for Adam to get what he’s been craving.
Opening the door he takes hold of James’s hands pulling him out and up.
“Romantic,” says James, looking around him dubiously at the location.
“Fucking’s not about romance,” says Adam, clamping his hands down over James’ shoulders. “If you want that then go back to that pseudo boyfriend thing you got going on with the prick.”
He bends his neck and mouths dirty words into James’s ear.
“I’m gonna fuck you ‘til you come so fucking much you can’t see straight. I’m gonna screw you so hard you can’t even remember Boreanaz’s name and when he fucks you next time all you’ll be thinking about is me.”
you make me hard when I’m all soft
inside
I see the truth when I’m all stupid-eyed
the arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart
“My wife’s not around tonight,” says David as he pushes James up against the cubicle door, easing his cock into that tight ass. “I’ll take you out for a meal.”
Of course Adam can’t see what’s happening, but he can tell pretty much everything from those soft groans Marsters is making. He’s about to piss into the urinal, but then zips his flies back up, struck by this sudden urge to play voyeur or audeur or whatever the hell a listener is called.
“Trying to romance me?”
Adam can hear the smug bitch smile in James’s voice and he likes him all the more for it, even if the comment is disguised by heavy breathing and the slapping sound of balls hitting ass along with a nice wet reach around.
“If you don’t want me to bother-”
“No, I don’t want you to bother, okay. Us fucking ain’t about romance, it’s about you getting your rocks off inside my ass, you piece of shit.”
“Like this?” says Boreanaz and Adam winces at the pounding as David tries to screw James through to the next cubicle.
The bathroom door opens and Adam shakes his head at Andy then gives him a wry grin. The other actor listens for a second, then smiles duplicitously back and shuts the door as quietly as he can. Seconds later Adam can hear him entering the neighboring girls room, accompanied by a squeal of shock.
Adam settles himself on the counter beside the end sink then leans back against the mirror and waits for the climax, trying to think more like Hamilton than Baldwin. Hamilton has that detached, icy-cool thing going for him whereas Baldwin just wants to fuck. Fuck now and fuck hard.
He listens to the yowl of completion with an air of detachment then smiles as it’s followed up by a snarl of annoyance.
“Is that what you wanted, baby? See, I can do that no problem,” laughs Boreanaz.
A flush probably heralds the disposal of a condom then the bolt snicks across and James storms out, not even seeing Adam amidst all the red.
“Knew you were a big ass freak but I didn’t figure you for a perverted one,” says David as he emerges, buckling his belt and looking Adam up and down.
“Just making sure you weren’t disturbed,” replies Adam with a polite ‘n friendly smile. Go Hamilton. Marcus rules.
my blood just wants to say hello to you
my fear is warm to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
how every little bit is left of me
“Okay?” asks Adam as James doubles up from a coughing fit. He enjoys fucking the guy but he prefers his lovers alive over dead any day.
“Yeah,” says James then looks down at the floor. “No, not so much. Get me away from here, will you?” he says pointing to his head.
Adam’s sure there’s irony somewhere in doing it in the mocked up Wolfram and Hart garage. He’s not sure what the irony is and he’s not caring much, but it’s there all the same.
Forcing James back against a wall, he settles them so the smaller man is snug between his legs and reaches down with one hand to unfasten James’s fly.
“Best thing can happen for you is all this crap being over,” he says, still pushing for the conversational thing even though his fist is already closing around James’s cock.
He gets a nod and a shudder in response and dry fucks that prick with his palm, hard and brutal until James’ head is thrown back against the semi-finished walling.
“God. God. Fuuuck.” Marsters’ voice deteriorates into a low whine as he grips Adam’s shoulder and comes over his fist. The whole thing takes about a minute from start to finish and now Adam has him right where he wants him. Providing that is Marsters don’t zip up and walk away wearing one of them trademark grins while he’s doing it.
He doesn’t. Instead he lowers his jeans and turns, spreading his legs and assuming the position with both hands flat against the mocked up brickwork.
Adam’s mouth is dry. He’s wanted to territory fuck James since that first warning off from the leader of the pack and the only thing that could make this better is to feel those hard-as-glass eyes burning into him when he’s busy screwing the alpha’s bitch. One day at a time. He’s a patient man.
Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans, Adam pulls a condom out from the bent up cardboard packet. He’s been carrying them around with him since he met James. There’s only one missing so far but that’s gonna change.
Prolonging the moment, he undoes each fly button slowly, running one hand over James’ back to keep the man grounded. His cock urges him to go faster pushing through the slit in his boxers, drooling pre-come and full to bursting with blood. The anticipation gets to Adam and for a second he feels lightheaded. That’d be embarrassing, to faint before he gets around to doing the deed.
“Come on, man,” whimpers Marsters and Adam leans over and sinks his teeth into the skin just below James’ right ear -- a warning nip telling him to behave.
“'Cause of that you won't be getting no prep this time. Any more mouth in the wrong place and there won’t be lube either.”
James shivers and Adam loves the way the little bitch gets so fucking turned on from the nasty.
“Gonna be good now?” he murmurs and when he gets the nod, Adam licks a delicate path over James’s ear while his hands are busy condomming and slicking and rubbing a greased thumb around the indent of James’ hole.
Dipping his hips just so and lifting enough to get them lined up, Adam thrusts with one single deep penetrative push and the force of being gripped by unprepped muscles is so intense that the lightheadedness returns with a vengeance.
Adam reckons with relief that James is feeling much the same the way; the man’s head is flopping back against Adam’s chest, these low throaty moans of absolute fucking confusion coming from deep inside him.
“Relax off or I’m gonna shoot now,” warns Adam but they remain caught up in the intensity of the moment for what seems like fucking hours. It’s good. So good. Too good, and if James doesn’t stop clamping around him soon this is gonna end up being one of the most unsuccessful fucks ever.
Adam’s relieved when the sensation begin to ease and with his arm wrapped tight around James's skinny waist, he lifts and pushes James up against the wall, easing his hips back and then slamming inside so hard he can feel his cock burn from the friction. Christ alone knows how James must be feeling.
Waiting for the pain to die down a little, Adam rinses and repeats; running his tongue over the back of James’s neck, sucking the sweat off each protrusion of vertebra on display above the collar of the black tee-shirt. The man is far too thin, almost anorexic looking, but that only twists the desire Adam has for him up another couple of notches. James is skinny, wiry, short and yet still so fucking masculine with it.
Moans give way to another bout of coughing and Adam lets up a little, not liking the worrying rattle he can hear coming from James’s chest. Eventually James gets his breath back and twists his neck to look Adam in the face.
“I’m good. Fuck me. Make me feel it,” he says, eyes bright and feverish from a combination of sex and sickness, and those words hit Adam right in his cock.
Raising James up again, Adam powers into him, reaching around and down with his left hand and finding a dick that’s half-filled and aching to be fuller.
“Like it this way, don’t you?” he grunts as James spreads his arms wide, bracing himself ready to take everything that’s thrown his way. Adam doesn’t need a verbal answer. The thickening of that prick says everything.
Surging forward, Adam takes his pleasure, working James off with a clenched fist and gaining this intense satisfaction from the slap of his balls and accompanying whimper as he slams against James’ sweet spot. Christ, he’s so close, can’t last much longer, can’t get James there. Won’t go down for him. For anyone.
These kinds of thoughts should ruin a fuck, but they don’t. Adam shudders and is filled with this intense burst of excitement and when his fingernails bite into James’s cock and he hears a strangled moan, he gets an added thrill knowing from the wetness in his hand that James has climaxed again. Half-hearted but there.
“It’s a fucking miracle. The second coming,” grins James his head resting back, letting Adam support his weight.
Adam bites down again softly at the point where James’s neck meets his shoulder, but this time it’s more about change of ownership than warning. He’s not feeling quite so misplaced any longer.
take me with you
without you everything just falls apart
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
DONE