Patchwork

1. Wrongs

At first, all Jayne can think about is the ‘wrongs’ of this. How men ain’t s’posed to rut with other men. How cocks are designed to slide into pussy that’s all wet and ready for ’em.

To begin with he and Mal are high on adrenaline. They rub against each other, spitting fierce words and come, and afterwards Jayne ain’t persuaded. It still feels wrong to him and he can’t look at the captain square on for the next few days.

Later, when they have time and Jayne gets to fuck and then be fucked, he finally sees the light.

2. Mechanisms

The crew have a collective spirit all of their own, thinks Mal as he watches them work. River talks gou shi and Wash can’t resist playing with his dinos when he reckons no one is looking, but the strange truth is that together they function like a machine.

Inara would have been a spanner in the works. She had a habit of leaving Mal tensed up and irritable, causing him to make some rash decisions, whereas Jayne puts the serene in Serenity.

It’s a conundrum, but no one can deny that a well oiled mercenary makes the mechanisms run smoother.

3. Necessary

Jayne’s always had this checklist of what he needs to feel good.

As a young 'un it consisted of food in his belly and staying clear of a whupping, but growing older he discovered what lay between a girl’s legs and it was this that preoccupied him night and day. Falling hard for one of them bitches got him ridiculed over his stupidity and he resorted to hooch and fisticuffs to see him through. Then, when the wanderlust carried him away, it was a yearning for badness that ticked the boxes.

Now there’s only one thing that’s necessary to him.

4. Obstructed

“Y’ain’t doing it.”

The big man stands in front of him, arms folded, and Mal scrubs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you ain’t in charge of this boat?” It’s a rhetorical question, but sometimes Mal just needs an answer; he’s sick of being obstructed at every turn by Jayne.

“How many times do I gotta tell you that you ain’t going down to Whitefall on your own? Last time…”

“I’ll take care. I promise.”

There’s public kissing to seal the deal, which is easier than it oughta be.

 

5. Smug

Rutting is all manner of good. As far as entertainment goes, it’s the best thing in the world and Jayne’s been enjoying it for more than twenty years. Nothing can wipe the smug expression off his face now though as he pile-drives his ji ba into Mal’s body, making the man howl, growl and whine for more.

Sexing ain't never going to get better than this and the most enjoyable part is that he knows he makes the self-same noises when Mal’s fucking the hell outta him. And he ain’t ashamed of it neither. Fact is, Jayne’s a proud man.

6. Divorce

 

Mal don’t exactly know when the fucking evolved into fight-fucking and then into bitter words with no promise of making up. What he does know is that he screwed up, bossing Jayne around and ignoring his feelings and, in turn, Jayne buried his anger deep inside a series of bar-sluts.

When Jayne moves out of their bunk it’s a wake up call.

“Reckon we’re both at fault here,” says Mal.

“Can we fix it?” Jayne’s eyes are wet.

“Well I ain’t giving you half my boat in a divorce settlement.”

Jayne laughs through his tears and kisses away their misery.

7. Manipulated

Jayne ain’t stupid. He knows that his job is a dangerous one and that his captain is a crazy man, but after he and Mal get back together things change some and Jayne has a feeling that he’s being manipulated… in a very good way.

It’s like Mal’s buying time for them to spend together; taking on work that’s high on excitement so they can benefit from the thrills, but not put themselves at risk all the gorram time.

It’s like Mal listens and cares and puts Jayne first. And there ain’t nothing in the world more horny-making than that.

8. Pharmacy

As soon as they hit rock Mal makes sure to stock up on the supplies they need from the pharmacy.

To begin with they used rubbers all the time, even for blow jobs. After all Jayne’s been pretty careless. Things are different though when they get back together. The sex is still heated and urgent, but they’ve calmed down. They’re together now and staying that way.

It’s Jayne who asks to be tested. Simon runs a full screening on both of them and once the results come back Mal just has to buy slick from the pharmacy. In large quantities.

9. Reversed

Jayne ain’t full of smarts like Simon and River and he ain’t full of common sense like the rest of the crew, but what he has got is a keen eye for weighing up a situation and a knowledge of tactics that leaves the rest for dead. Now he knows this, but when it comes to making the others understand, his words don’t usually get through -- mebbe because he ain’t mastered the right kind of speaking.

But Mal listens now and, depending on the job, sometimes roles are reversed and Jayne gets to talk first. He likes that a lot.

10. Processors

“My processors are non-functioning.” River dances away from the table.

“Oh God, why can’t my processors be non-functioning at night?” says Wash gloomily.

“We used to sleep once.” Zoë yawns.

“We used to have sex once.” Wash looks even more depressed.

“They are loud,” agrees Simon with a blush.

“They’re honeymooners,” laughs Kaylee.

“I haven’t heard anything.” But Book smiles like he understands.

“That’s because your bed is a long way from theirs, Shepherd,” says Zoë. “Wanna swap?”

Mal listens in with a smirk. Maybe he’ll look into soundproofing their bunk because the sex sure won’t be getting any quieter.

11. Explaining

When Simon takes him to one side and puts an arm about his shoulders Jayne knows things are bad. He knowed things were bad as soon as he had to drag Mal’s broken body out from under the wreckage. Gorram space pirates cutting in on the deal. Jayne wants to kill ‘em all over again.

“The scanner shows there’s some damage to the cervical vertebrae. Unfortunately we have no way of knowing how severe the situation is until Mal wakes up…”

Jayne can’t listen to the explaining no more because there’s an unspoken ‘if’ at the end of that sentence.

12. Hint

Simon Tam is gorram good at doctoring. So good that Mal’d take his hat off to him… if he wore a hat. In fact the day Mal gets back on his feet--not two weeks after the accident--and begins to walk like he ain’t never been off his legs, he could kiss the man good and proper. He don’t though because Jayne’s there and he’d rather kiss him, long and hard and full of dirty promise.

He fully intends to make up for time wasted, except there’s a hint of something wary in Jayne’s eyes that wasn’t there before.

13. Option

“I’m turning in for the night. You coming?”

Jayne looks at Mal then back at his clean gun parts which’re spread out over the table the way they’ve been for an hour. “I’ll finish up here then I’ll be along,” he answers in a dull voice.

Mal’s eyes are full of disappointment, but he remains silent, just walking away.

Once he’s alone Jayne fetches the bottle out from one of the storage lockers, pouring himself a mug of whiskey. The alcohol numbs the feeling which is good because Jayne ain’t prepared to feel that way again. It isn’t an option.

14. Hostile

Things turn hostile the day Jayne can’t do his job properly and almost gets Kaylee killed.

“You’re drunk,” snarls Mal as he carries the bleeding girl back to the shuttle. “You’re drunk, you’re useless and if you carry on like this then you’re gorram nothing to me, you hear.”

Jayne feels sick because he’s heard them words before -- a long time ago when they were coming out of his ma’s thin-lipped mouth.

He never understood his pa back then. Now he’s coming a little closer to knowing him, ten years after the ornery old wastrel died of a rotten liver.

15. Amends

Jayne tries to make amends: staying clear of the booze, giving gifts to Kaylee and making nice with everyone, but Mal ain’t having any of it. He’s too gorram angry to be sweetened by this kind of gou shi which smacks of insincere and makes him even more fractious than he was to start off with.

Time passes and as communication and rutting slip away to nothing, there’s this growing desperation in Jayne’s eyes.

Mal can’t stand that. Nor can he stand the way the big man starts to watch the flow of liquor every time they’re in a bar.

16. Swallow

“You drink that and you’re off this boat next port.”

Up until now Jayne had no intention of opening the bottle that’s sat in front of him, but something about Mal’s sumbitch attitude makes him wanna push things. Slowly he unscrews the cap and pours the whiskey into a glass and the pain from wanting it is worse than a gun shot wound gone bad.

“Talk to me.”

He doesn’t have anything to say.

“I got something you can swallow that tastes better ‘n that.”

Jayne crumples and hates himself.

“I can’t do this,” he says. “Not on my own.”

17. Preferring

Mal sits in the pilot’s chair chewing his nails, something he hasn’t done since he was young. When Jayne asked for help Mal did the worst thing imaginable and walked away. He’s not proud of himself, but he’s not got it in him to be a prop. He can captain his crew, but he can’t carry them; not even when one of them belongs to him.

Preferring solitude, he slinks off toward his own lonely bunk then something diverts him at the last second.

“Jayne!” he calls as his fists slam on the hatch.

There’s someone there who needs him.

18. Reflect

“Jayne!”

His name is distant to start off with, kind of like their rutting, but then it gets louder.

“JAYNE!”

If he opens the hatch will it look like he’s the weak one? He wants to see Mal so much. Needs to see him.

“Jayne, let me in. Please.”

He takes a while to reflect on things. A short while. Then he climbs up the ladder and slides open the mechanism.

“I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t mean to.”

It doesn’t matter who says what because right now that’s irrelevant. When Mal reaches for his shoulders, pulling him in, Jayne knows it’s time.

19. Tracked

“I’m here now.”

Mal holds Jayne close, the big man clinging on to him like he’s about to fall into the black.

“Don’t wanna wind up like my gorram Pa.”

The words are mixed in with tears and Mal hates this, but he hugs Jayne tighter nonetheless.

Fingers that once tracked relentlessly over his body all hours of the night are now gripping onto his shirt, full of panic.

“Y’don’t have to wind up as anyone but yourownself, Jayne,” Mal says. “And you got me. For always.”

He means it. Wo de ma, he truly means it.

“Until you die.”

20. Could

There, Jayne’s said it. The thing that scares him most in the world ain’t the bottle or losing it, it’s the thought of being without Mal. It’s easier to pretend it’s all a lie, leastways he thought it’d be easier. 'Cepting that’s been proved to be wrong and now he’s gone and humped things up and found out a few home truths into the bargain.

Could he ever be the kind of man Mal deserves?

“You're gonna die someday, Jayne. You reckon I don’t get frightened myownself?”

Jayne ain’t considered that. He never thought anyone’d be scared of losing him.

21. Curse

The curse has been lifted.

Pants are shoved down and Mal takes Jayne hard on all fours, grounding them so they can find their centre again. Next time is slower and there’s less clothing involved.

Mal lets out this sigh of relief the moment he has Jayne inside him again. It’s been too long; what sex they have had recently has been nothing more than drunken unhappy rutting and Mal had forgotten how good they are together.

He ain’t gonna see Jayne crying, he ain’t gonna come so close to tears and he ain’t gonna let them get cursed again.

22. Bound

Soft leather wraps around his wrists and he pulls slightly to test the give. The room is dark, smelling faintly of beeswax and wood smoke, and this relaxes him as much as the long soak in the tub did earlier. He may be trussed up on this vast expanse of hotel bed, but inside he’s floating.

He rejects the blindfold with a shake of head, needing to see everything. A part of him has trouble believing and it doesn’t matter how many times that mouth has explored him, he still has to watch.

He’s bound in more ways than one.

23. Biology

Mal finds himself watching Jayne all the time. Often, it’s simply because he needs to fuck him and when those moments come he’ll do anything to drag the man somewhere quiet and have him. Jayne never complains; fact is he does his own fair share of dragging.

The other times Mal watches it’s out of bewilderment. Sex is supposed to be about procreation and that’s something he and Jayne are never going to manage. He fixates on Jayne’s muscles and skills and his fuck-me-now grin and, however humped up it seems, Mal knows they’re right and the biology is wrong.

24. Assigns

 

As captain, Mal always assigns the jobs, but nowadays it’s an increasingly difficult task having to deny that raging instinct to protect Jayne. Truth is he’s been terrified of putting the big man in danger ever since he saw the spiralling effects of his own near miss. Simon’s mollycoddling never went down well with River and Mal can only imagine the fierce treatment he’d receive if he ever tried that with Jayne.

Best he can do is trust and make the most of the good times they share, because, with their line of work, they may not have that long.

25. Cased

Jayne has a dirty mouth and a dirtier mind. He’s seen Kaylee staring slack-jawed when him and Mal get carried away. He’s also seen the way the girl tries her darndest to get Simon to take notice and the way the doc secretly gazes at her with a blush on his face. The pair of them need a shove.

Jayne picks his moment; a time when they’re sat outside on Belroth, three of them pleasantly drunk and him sober and horny.

He leans over and, with Mal’s cock cased inside his mouth, glances to the left at Simon’s wandering hand.

26. Brand

 

Mal never got the point of birthdays until he found himself a family. It ain’t about the gifts, although they’re nice too. It’s that time spent around the table celebrating that makes them special occasions.

This year’s even better because Mal has Jayne in his life and there’s a spark in the merc’s eyes that’s had him on tenterhooks all day.

Once they’re undressed and their fingers are tracing over each other, Mal discovers his initials, etched in intricate design, around the base of Jayne’s cock.

“Like it?”

“Love it.”

It’s a brand that has nothing to do with ownership.

27. Leaving

Mal’s been quiet for the past few weeks and Jayne can’t figure out what he’s done wrong. The rutting is better than ever--Jayne’s never happier than when he and Mal are bunked up together--but afterwards there’s this solid wall of silence.

“You ain’t leaving me,” he says defiantly when he’s out of options. “I ain’t letting you.”

Mal smirks. “Now why would I be doing that?”

“Figured that’s what the no talking was about.”

“Couple of jobs went south. Cash flow’s flowed away.”

Jayne frowns. “You don’t gotta worry alone no more,” he says and Mal kisses him.

28. Bananas

 

Life is good.

Kaylee bought herself some bananas while she was planet-side and, since getting back, she’s been giving one of them fruits a spectacular blow job. There’s a cherubic look on her face and if it wasn’t for the fact that she keeps throwing Simon overt glances, Mal’d think she was guileless. Simon’s wide-eyed and it don’t take x-ray vision to know the doctor’s hiding a hard-on behind the counter.

Now this is fun, but the real source of Mal’s pleasure comes from having a hand inside Jayne’s pants, working the big man off as he watches the show.

29. Accumulated

Sometimes, especially on days that are fraught with danger, the urge builds and Jayne has to rub himself up against Mal. Has to feel that big warm body touch his and know that both of them ‘em are beat on but safe.

This accumulated need frightens him. He’s always loved a grapple after action, but he’s never been brought to his knees from craving it before. Yet here he is, down on all fours, with Mal’s fat ji ba pumping in and out of his mouth and the most frightening thing of all is there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

30. Amount

The day they lose Jayne to a group of Reavers is the day Mal discovers what it feels like to have his heart stop.

“I’m getting him back,” he says, watching the radiation trace of the ship and knowing that no amount of common sense will stop him.

“We’re getting him back, Sir,” corrects Zoë.

***

Boarding the ship is like entering an abandoned abattoir, but Mal’s not prepared to think about the smell of rotting meat. Jayne’s no victim. Jayne won’t be raped, skinned and on the menu.

Jayne isn’t.

He’s fighting them off hard, just the way Mal expects.

31. Requesting

He gets patched up quick enough. There’re a few new scars to add to his collection, but he’ll survive. It’s what he does.

Mal’s loathed to leave him be and that makes Jayne feel itchy inside. Like he’s dirty. Reavers didn’t hurt him, but they touched him, telling him what they were gonna do and he dreams it like it happened.

“Requesting some time off to go home…”

The words are stilted and wrong--Mal ain’t just his captain--but while he’s hunting for more, Mal’s already speaking.

“We could go there together.”

Together.

There’s arms holding him together right now.

32. Registered

It hasn’t registered yet. It hasn’t filtered through into Mal’s tired brain that he’s about to set foot on Jayne’s home planet and meet up with the Cobbs.

He’s given everyone two weeks leave. It’s all the time they can afford and, to be truthful, he ain’t much caring what plans the others have made because right now this is all about Jayne. About stopping the man sinking into a bottle of liquor and disappearing the way he did before.

“Do they know who I am to you?” he asks in a panic as the shuttle doors open.

Jayne laughs.

33. Publications

“Ma!”

“Ain’t they feeding you?” she says, hugging her son.

Mal stares at the wispy little woman, wondering how she could be related to Jayne.

“This here’s Mal.”

The pride in those eyes makes him flush hot. Are sly folks welcome on Nova?

“Well now.” Jayne’s ma faces him, hands on hips. All she needs is a shotgun to complete the picture. “I reckon you’ll be making an honest man outta my boy. I announced it in all the town publications when I heard you was coming.”

There’s silence then matching guffaws of laughter and the family resemblance grows clearer.

34. Opting

“She likes you.”

“And I like her.” It’s a shock but Mal loves the Cobbs and, right now, he’s opting to stay here forever. “Don’t know why you left,” he says, his fingers scrabbling at the dusty earth.

“Too quiet.”

“Quiet can be a good thing.” Mal wraps his arms around Jayne’s waist and pulls him back into the long grass.

They kiss slow and open-mouthed, Jayne’s beard grazing him as the intensity grows. Mal swings a leg over Jayne’s body, breathing in deep as they make contact. It’s the first time they’ve come close to sex since the Reavers.

35. Song

 

Jayne’s old bedroom has been done up for guests with towels folded neat as a pin. It feels weird them sleeping in here with his mother just a few steps away down the passage.

“You okay?” Mal leans in, tightening both arms around him as he gazes out the window.

Jayne’s fast falling in love with this cuddling.

“I remember Ma singing us a song to ward off the Reavers when I were ‘bout up to her knee,” he mutters.

“You’ve got me to do that now.”

Jayne turns in Mal’s arms, smiling broadly. “You offering to sing to me?”

36. Violin

“Now’s your chance.”

Mal glowers because Jayne hasn’t stopping ragging on him at him since he said those stupid words. He’d forgotten how annoying the big man could be.

“I ain’t singing to you.”

People smile as he makes himself heard above the lilting melody of a violin and he closes his eyes and rests his head against Jayne’s shoulder.

It’s their last night on Nova and Mal’s hating the idea of leaving. If they settled here they could work the land surrounded by family, but how long would either of them survive without the thrill of being wanted men?

37. Agents

 

The thrill hits them full on as soon as they get back to Serenity. No sooner has Mal unpacked his pile of garish knitwear than Wash is calling him up to the cockpit.

“Got a wave from Mr Universe. He intercepted comms from government agents and says three ships are tracking us.”

Mal slams his fist on the console.

***

They go dark, hiding out in a crater on the closest ferrous rock.

“Nova’s looking gorram shiny,” says Mal listlessly as he’s laying in bed.

Jayne smiles then sucks kisses onto Mal’s belly. “Least we got time to play now.”

38. Manufactured

They evade the operatives by the skin of their teeth.

“Too close.” Mal rests his head in his hands as he sits at the table, ignoring the food in front of him.

“Vultures feeding off the dead.”

“Them’s Reavers you’re talking about, girl, not feds.” Jayne glares at River.

“Same thing. Food chain. Don’t want Reavers top.”

It’s a sinister idea that develops into an oppressive silence.

“You’re supposed to stop them!” Simon’s eyes open wide from sudden enlightenment.

River shrugs. “Manufactured for something.”

Mal shoves his chair back angrily. “You’re not manufactured and the Alliance ain’t having you back.”

39. Corrupt

When Jayne discovers Mal beating the shi out of an empty packing crate, he stands in between them, arms folded, legs apart.

“Outta my way.” That laid-back voice comes out more like a snarl.

“Nope.” Jayne restrains Mal, holding his wrists. “If’n it’s a brawl you want then I’m here and I can take it.”

Mal barrels forward, swinging Jayne around and knocking him to the floor. The first punch lands on his jaw and Jayne hopes he’s doing the right thing.

“Rutting corrupt hundan.”

Words grind out through clenched teeth and Jayne fights back, knowing exactly what Mal needs.

40. Essentially

 

“Are we humped?”

“Way I see it we been humped from the beginning,” says Jayne as he lays there puffing and panting.

Mal’s bruised and raw from the rutting that the fight evolved into, but at least he can think straight again.

“So it’s no different,” continues Jayne.

It is different though, because essentially Mal’s got someone to share the burden with now.

Crawling downwards, he lays between Jayne’s thighs and resting his head on a warm belly he takes that semi-erect cock into his mouth.

Jayne squirms, over-sensitive from coming, but Mal has all the time in the world.

41. Enthusiastic

Jayne may be an enthusiastic lover, but for some reason, Mal didn’t expect to find him being enthusiastic with anyone else.

He stands there like a fool watching Kaylee riding Jayne’s cock then, when vomit begins to rise, he turns and walks away. Afterwards, Jayne tries to explain, but Mal can’t listen. There’s nothing to say. What can be said to make this right? Then Kaylee starts crying in public and Mal takes her to the engine room to hear her out.

“Don’t blame Jayne,” she sobs. “I didn’t mean you to break up. He just knows me is all.”

42. Taxi

Jayne hates hisself. He had something good and like a gorram idiot he rutted it up. Kaylee keeps looking at him mournful like and he wishes she’d leave him be because what’s done is done.

Next job they get to play nice at a fancy shindig. Jayne’s made up his mind that he ain’t gonna fall apart because that won’t win back Mal, so instead he dresses up in his best clothes and stays sober, acting as bodyguard and taxi-driver and letting everyone else have fun.

He tries not to think about all the fun he and Mal could’ve had.

43. Worker

 

Breaking up would be easier if Jayne would stop being so gorram mature about it.

He ain’t drinking, he ain’t whining, he ain’t fighting nor sulking. He’s being a hard worker with a good attitude and, on top of that, he looks gorram fine in his dinner suit.

First off, Mal scouts around for another partner to wile away the evening with, but none of them match his taste and he ends up leaving the party early. Jayne’s leaning on the truck, sucking on one of them stogies, and when he sees Mal approach he smiles and discards the cigar.

44. Worldwide

“You don’t need to stay out here,” says Mal.

“Got thinking to do. Too noisy inside.”

The orchestra is overbearing and Jayne wishes that he and Mal had never left Nova. The music there was gentle and he remembers having Mal in his arms as they almost danced. There’s nothing but a worldwide expanse of hurt between them now.

Mal rests a hand over his and Jayne looks down at their interlaced fingers.

“Kaylee and I ain’t new,” he says, his eyes meeting Mal’s. “Sexing is something we fell into long back.”

Angry-making or not, it has to be said.

45. Voting

“Bi zui!” hisses Mal then he walks away before he does anything stupid which, in his current mood, could involve words, fists or cocks.

“Give me five minutes, Mal. Please.” Jayne catches up to him and lays both hands carefully on his upper arms. “After then I’ll let you alone, I swear. I’ll leave the ship if’n that’s what you want.”

Mal’s voting for the latter option because he can’t do this. He should’ve played by his own rules.

“You got two minutes,” he says, looking at anything but Jayne. Scared of his emotions. Scared of giving in. Who knows?

46. Indication

Jayne can’t catch a hint of what Mal’s thinking. “I ain’t proud of myself,” he mutters. “All I can say is Kaylee was hurting over Simon and she came to me for comfort.”

Mal sucks in breath and the whistling sound is an indication that Jayne’s not doing well.

“She and I been scratching itches for a while. That’s all it is, Mal. Not like you and me.”

Mal looks up slowly then leans in, his mouth closing over Jayne’s and it don’t take more’n a minute of fierce kissing before Jayne’s facing the wall with his pants shoved down.

47. Evidently

“I got work to do,” says Mal abruptly as he tucks himself away and walks back into the banqueting suite.

He don’t even know why he did that. Evidently he’s a spiteful sumbitch who takes pride in humiliating the people he cares about most. Tonight he was all set on mending the rift between them, but now things are more humped than ever. The best course of action is to stay clear until things settle down.

Mal ain’t certain how he manages it, but somehow a deal is struck with enough cash involved to keep Serenity flying a little longer.

48. Balancing

 

Life on board ship has become a balancing act. Everything Jayne cares about has been thrown up in the air, his relationship with Mal, his friendship with Kaylee, his job, and right now he’s struggling to keep the whole lot aloft without drowning himself in whiskey.

The first time Mal comes to him for sex Jayne reckons it’s a good sign, but when the man leaves without hardly a second glance he knows instead it was a step backward.

Worse still, however much he practises with his weapons his head just ain’t in the game no more. That ain’t good.

49. Cite

 

When Jayne says he’s leaving Mal feels like he’s taken a punch to the guts.

“Gonna cite irreconcilable differences, huh?” Mal smirks ‘though he can’t see well enough right now to judge Jayne’s reaction. “And you still ain’t getting half my boat.”

Of all the bad things that have happened to him this is the worst. “I ain’t telling you not to go, Jayne.”

“It wouldn’t make no difference if’n you did,” says Jayne, reaching out his arm for a handshake. “Tell the others goodbye.”

Mal pulls him in for a final hug and he can feel the man shaking.

50. Detaching

Detaching himself from Mal was always gonna be difficult, but Jayne never reckoned on missing the rest of the crew as well. The first few days he’s so lonely he can’t even start a conversation let alone find work and right then he knows he’s made the worst decision of his life, especially when he’s laying there at nights, bunking in a vagrant centre, unable to sleep for the misery.

Finally he ships out with a crew of gun runners, no better ‘n the ones who almost got Mal killed.

He don’t give a gorram shit about keeping them safe.

51. Deprives

There are times when Mal wishes it was him who’d done the cheating. He couldn’t hate himself more if he’d been the unfaithful one -- at least then his self-flagellating would be deserved.

He deprives himself of everything that could bring him some pleasure. Not to say that he’s been completely sober or celibate for the past two years, but he’s never allowed himself to actually enjoy anything.

What he has done is to make sure that there’s more than enough work to keep the crew well paid. It’s the least he can do. Maybe it’s the most he can do.

52. Stark

“Mal!” Wash is hammering on the bunk hatch. “Mal, we got a wave in. Was sent a few days ago from Nova.”

Mal’s out of his bed quicksmart, but it ain’t because he thinks it’s from Jayne. Why is he still trying to fool hisownself?

Dressed in a pair of sleep pants he heads for the cockpit and sits down, taking a cup of coffee from Book.

“Just came in, Sir,” says Zoë, starting the playback.

“Jayne, if that’s you listening in can you come home? Ma’s passed away.”

Mal’s heart sinks as the stark reality of this becomes apparent.

53. Observe

There’s silence in the cockpit then Wash asks, “Is that Jayne’s brother?”

Mal nods. “Yeah, that’s Mattie.” Six foot and blond; not exactly the sickly runt he’d been expecting.

“Kinda looks like him.” Wash stares at the paused transmission. “Not so hairy and menacing though.”

The eyes are the same: dark blue and full of hurt, just the way Mal remembers.

He records an answer, saying they’ll take the news to the elder Cobb boy and bring him home and bemused faces observe him warily as he sends the wave.

“Good plan, Sir. How we gonna do that?” questions Zoë.

54. Kidnaps

How hard can it be to find a big hundan who’s lived the wrong side of the law all his life?

Mal pours over fed reports of kidnaps and heists, any crime he can think of, but everything’s coming up blank. Since he left Serenity, Jayne’s fallen off the face of the verse.

He discovers Book studying obituaries from the last three years. “Don’t be going there, old man,” he says bitterly. “I ain’t telling Mattie Cobb that he needs to plan a memorial service for his brother as well as his ma.”

“Located.” River spins around with bright-eyed satisfaction.

55. Loose

 

The reason it was so hard to find Jayne since he cut loose is that he’s been working legit for a while, heading up security on one of the satellite arrays near Beylix. River tracked him down through payroll idents.

They arrive at the cluster then request docking and because the facility is of low-level importance have no trouble getting permission granted.

It’s all too easy, thinks Mal as he stares out at the bleak artificial vista before him, then he remembers that this isn’t one of his nefarious schemes and that the hard part is still ahead of him.

56. Deity

There’s just one scum bar on the station, but anything new counts as entertainment when you live on board ship and Mal leaves his crew parked there, watching the bulletins.

From the rear the man behind the office door is taller and slimmer and greyer than Mal remembers, but when he turns around to see who’s invaded his domain it’s unmistakeably Jayne and Mal raises a prayer to some or other deity for having found him so quick.

“Got some bad news,” he says, wanting to get the telling out of the way. “Mattie waved to say your ma’s died.”

57. Intercourse

 

Jayne looks out at the mechanised dishes that are keeping track on the universe. It’s a world away and yet he feels exactly the same as when he was last on Nova, standing in the bedroom with Mal holding him and the smell of his mother’s cooking wafting up the stairs.

“Thanks for telling me,” he says, keeping conversation to a minimum.

“You’re welcome,” says Mal. “We’re here to take you home.”

Jayne chokes up. It ain’t just the sex he’s missed, it’s the intercourse of all kinds and the caring in Mal’s voice reminds him how much he’s lost.

58. Heritage

 

They arrive at Nova to weather so cold it feels as if Mal’s face is blistering. The sun is vivid and bluish, starkly highlighting the mountain ridges and outlined forests, and, in contrast, the Cobb home is a heritage of warmth and welcome.

Jayne is quiet and he carries a pronounced limp bad enough to make Mal wince from second-hand pain, but his face lights up when he sees his family and Mal’s glad he could do this for the man.

When the funeral is over and it’s almost time to leave Mal has some talking he needs to do.

59. Legible

He and Mal have been leaning up against a tree for the last hour and Jayne’s still no closer to knowing how to say goodbye.

“This was where I came to do my thinking when I was a kid,” he says. “Carved the name of my first girl into this trunk.” He points out some barely legible initials. “She broke my heart good and proper.”

Jayne laughs at how unimportant it seems now.

“Happens to us all,” says Mal. “That’s womenfolk for you.”

“Then you get old and you ain’t much use to no-one.”

“You’re of use to me, Jayne.”

60. Shopping

 

It’s taken a lot out of Mal just to say that much and when he realises that he’s waiting for an answer to a question he never asked, he could smack himself.

“Come home.”

“What if I ain’t up to the work?”

And right there is the stubborn man Mal remembers of old. “You trying to make this difficult?”

“You gonna fire my replacement if I come back?”

“Never replaced you.”

There’s a whole lot of window shopping happening and the way they’re staring at each other don’t match the stilted conversation.

“I ain’t saying no.” Jayne leans in close.

DONE