Kaylee loves Serenity. Mal knows it, all the crew know it. Even strangers learn real fast that she has no tolerance for rudeness about her ship. Say all they want about her own self, fine, but someone bitches about Serenity, and Kaylee gets pissy.
She spends most of her time in the engine room. She goes there when she's restless or unhappy - listens to the sounds, and tinkers with the engine, just to unwind. She's always felt safe there, in the dark, crowded little room. Serenity's engine is what got her on the crew, and she isn't going to ever forget that.
Only twice has Serenity failed her. Once, with the life support, and that was her own fault for not taking better care; and then twice, not warning her of the bounty hunter. That was the first time she's ever felt truly unsafe on the ship, the first time she asked herself why she joined the crew after all. The way he snuck up on her, the things he said...Kaylee wanted to find refuge in the engine room like always, but this time, it's not the safe place she always figured.
She's standing near the engine, trying to ignore the memories and the shakes in her hands. She's got to get over this fast -- she's no use to Mal if she can't hold tools steady, if she can't go near the engine room without fearing what might come out of the shadows this time.
When the hand falls on her shoulder, she nearly jumps a mile. Dropping everything, she turns and backs away quickly, the yell for Mal already on her lips.
Turns out it's nothing but Jayne. "Don't do that!"
He stares at her, his face scrunched up in that way he gets when he's real confused. "You're awful skittish."
"It ain't right, you sneaking up on people like that. Can't you say somethin'?"
Frowning at her a little, Jayne shrugs. "I did. Said your name. Couple of times. You just stood there starin' off at nothin'."
Oh. Oh.
"Ain't like you to be mooncrazy. Goin' the way of the doc's sister?"
Jayne doesn't have any social graces, and she's almost glad for it right now. If she tells him, he won't offer pretty condolences and sympathetic, horrified looks, like Inara or Simon might. "I was...just thinkin'. 'Bout that bounty hunter. And things he said. Here. I just gotta think on it, maybe then I'll get over it."
The words come out fast, maybe a little more than she intended to say right away. Jayne is frowning again, and she figures he's going to walk away, tell her it's no use dwelling on the past, and that anyhow, the bastard's dead. Instead, he crosses his arms across his chest and leans up against the wall. He gets this look on his face, like he's anticipating a real good story. It annoys her, 'cause she ain't there for his entertainment.
"What'd he say?"
She hasn't told anyone what happened, other than him getting the drop on her. She hasn't quite been able to say the words, and she thinks she needs to. Still, Kaylee turns away from Jayne to lean her forehead on Serenity. "He tied me up."
"So?" He says it like it's an everyday thing, like it's something she should get used to, like he has. And he grins, like the thought of her tied up gives him all sorts of ideas. She wants to hit him.
"But first...he..."
"Spit it out."
She knows her voice is wobbling a little. "He...he asked me if I ever been raped. Said he'd do...things to me if I messed up his plans. His eyes were real cold. I ain't never been looked at like that." She can feel herself shaking the tiniest bit.
Jayne watches her a long while, his face motionless and blank. Finally, he says, "I ain't surprised."
"What?"
"I ain't surprised he said those things. Seen them tactics used lots." He shakes his head at her. "Not by me, girl. Even I got some limits."
She figures he'd say that anyway. If Zoe or even Inara ever found out different, Jayne wouldn't have much chance. Still, it's nice to hear.
"You need to get your self sorted, know what to do if it happens again."
"I can take care of myself."
Jayne snorts. "Yeah? 'Cause from what I hear, you ain't much use in a gunfight. And you got the shakes just thinkin' 'bout that hunter."
"He had a gun!"
"So? Guns ain't everythin'. What if he meant what he said? What if he stood right there and told you to take off your clothes and get on the floor? You think he's gonna have that gun pointed at you the whole time? Them as do stuff like that, half of 'em ain't had none in a good long time. Most get excited by scared girls. I ain't sayin' all the time it'll be like that, but they ain't for sure gonna be focussed on the trigger while you're gettin' naked."
This has to be the longest bit of talk Jayne's ever made. Kaylee knows what he says is probably right, too. She slides to the floor, eyes on her hands.
"This ain't some safe gig we're on." He moves closer to her, and she stares at his boots. They're scuffed and worn. "We take risks. I ain't sayin' you'll get threatened like that again, but if you do, what would happen? You can't let yourself get scared by whatever weapon they're pointin' at you."
"I know." She looks up at him.
His voice takes a dark turn, more gritty and harsh than usual. "So what're you gonna do? Cause I'm here right now, and I want a little somethin' you ain't willin' to give. I got lots of weapons, any one of them could hurt you real bad. What're you gonna do? Sit there and shake, maybe cry a little and say no? Or are you gonna try and stop me?"
"Jayne, you ain't gonna -"
He reaches down and pulls her upright. "No? Just 'cause I said I don't? How do you know I ain't lyin'?" He shakes her, then looks her up and down. His free hand takes some of her hair, twisting enough to make her wince. "You ain't bad lookin', and I got a bit of an itch. Been a while since I had some time in a whorehouse. So maybe you'd best quit whinin' and take off your shirt. For starters."
He lets her go, pushing her away. "Or else I'm gonna hurt you in ways you ain't ever imagined. Don't know what he told you, but I can do way worse."
Kaylee's shaking still, worse even than before, but she's getting pissed. She should have known Jayne would do this, should have known better than to let him be alone with her down here, far from the others. Should have known not to tell him anything. And it ain't right, him coming here, threatening her where she's always felt safest. "I'll yell. Mal and Zoe'll kill you."
He shrugs. "I can take 'em." He moves towards her, his mouth twisted in a smile that makes her feel sick. He's boxing her into a corner. "So, do what I said, and maybe I'll let you live after I'm finished with you." His breath is on her warm on her face. It makes her shiver.
Jayne reaches down towards her, and she can't take it anymore, she pushes him away just enough so that she can duck under his arm. Her tools are on the floor, and she grabs the one closest, a wrench, and tries to run out of the room. Mal and Zoe have to be somewhere, why aren't they on the bridge, hearing this?. If she can keep away from Jayne long enough to find them, or maybe even Book...
She's still far from the door when Jayne grabs her foot, and she goes down, landing hard. Still, she manages to turn over before Jayne is on top of her. Jayne is looming over her, one leg across hers. It's holding her down. She has just enough leverage to swing the wrench at him, the sharper end connecting with his arm, causing him to yell.
He catches her wrist with his uninjured arm. The hold is tight enough to make her drop the wrench as he pulls her to her feet.
Even with his arm bruised, maybe even a little cut, she's no match for him. She starts to shake again, collapsing back to the floor when he lets her go. Her arm hurts from falling, and she knows it's going to be worse, way worse for her soon. Jayne isn't even breathing hard as he crouches down beside her. She cringes away from his body heat, can't help the whispered, "Please. Don't," that squeaks out.
"Well, that weren't the best fight I even been in, but it's a start."
Her head snaps up. "What?"
Standing up straight, he moves a pace away from her, then sits back down. "I ain't gonna hurt you. Just - can't go trusting everythin' people tell you. What if he'd done you anyway? For kicks? You gotta know how to look after yourself, if Mal or Zoe ain't around to watch out for you."
"This was...a test?" She feels relief. Then anger. Jayne hasn't got a subtle bone in his body. Couldn't he have just said something? Why did he have to scare her like that?
"Nope."
"Then what?"
Jayne huffs, looks annoyed. "Me and the preacher work out. Maybe you and me can set somethin' up too."
She's not sure what to say. He just scared her bad, and now he offering to help her out. Jayne's never gonna make much sense to Kaylee. Eventually, she says, "That's real...nice. Why're you bein' all nice? I mean, them apples before were real good, and you been more personable and social lately, but it ain't like you to go out of your way. No offence."
Jayne smiles a little, almost bitter. Something passes across his face, so fast she can't figure out what it is. "I ain't got reasons for everythin'. Anyways, it'll pass the time between jobs." He shrugs. "Could ask Zoe instead."
Zoe would be better. But she can't just go around scared of Jayne all the time. Mal'll wonder why, and the crew will get tense. "Why didn't you just say? Why'd you go and scare me?"
He snorts. "This ain't some pretty school where we learn lessons from books and talkin'. Out here, there ain't the place for niceties. It ain't always gonna be about pretty dresses, fancy balls and playing with spare parts."
Oh. He's right, but still."So. You'll show me? Zoe told me a few things once, about places to aim for, not like I didn't already know that. But I ain't strong, and I ain't real fast..."
"Just gotta practice, know what you can and can't do. Learn not to fold over easy when you see a gun."
"Oh. Um. Thanks."
"You come down to the weights later. Me and the preacher got some liftin' to do, you and me can get started after."
"Okay."
He nods at her, then stands up.
Kaylee's looking at the floor again. "Think I'll just sit down here for a while."
Jayne grunts. He's about to leave the room when he turns and says, "Don't be thinkin' I'm just bein' nice. You're real good with the ship, got talent. But you ain't no good to us dead or broke. Too many weak crew ain't good for no one." With that, he walks quickly out of the room, leaving Kaylee alone with the sounds of the engine, and her tools scattered on the floor.
Kaylee closes her eyes and leans her head back against the wall. She takes deep breaths and lets Serenity's familiar creaks and murmurs soothe away the memories of the bountyhunter.
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