Simon sipped at his drink cautiously, grimacing as the foul tasting liquid seemed to burn its way down his gullet. Beside him Mal and Jayne knocked back their drinks like water, roaring with laughter at some joke that went way over his head.

He closed his eyes and sighed, tipping the rest of the drink back in one gulp, managing not to splutter as he hoped that the alcohol would make the evening seem pass faster.

Zoë and Wash were off somewhere together, and from the eyes they had been making at each other all morning, Simon had a pretty good idea what they were doing. Inara was with a client, Book was visiting his brethren at the nearby Abbey, and Kaylee and River were back on Serenity having a sleepover, with no boys or older brothers invited.

Somehow Mal and Jayne had guilt-tripped him into coming out with them, which was how he found himself in this dive, drinking alcohol that made Kaylee’s brew seem like the finest Champagne. To say he wasn’t having a good time was an understatement, not that either Mal or Jayne had noticed.

He put his now empty glass on the table, and Mal grinned and clapped him on the shoulder, squeezing him tenderly, if somewhat drunkenly.

“Hey Simon? You wanna ‘nother drink?” he asked loudly.

Simon opened his mouth to refuse, but by then Mal had already managed to climb over him and escape from the small booth, heading for the bar once more. Jayne slid closer and punched Simon in the arm before dropping his hand to Simon’s thigh.

“Weren’t this a good idea?” he asked with a grin.

Simon looked at him and moved away from Jayne’s hand, giving him a look. “If coming out and getting drunk is your definition of a good idea,” he replied stiffly, trying to ignore his body’s response to Jayne’s touch.

“It surely is,” Mal replied, sliding back into the booth beside Simon, sandwiching him between them and forcing him back closer to Jayne.

“‘Sides, a manly night out drinking sure beats the girly night in Kaylee’s got planned,” he added.

Jayne snorted loudly and took the drink Mal offered him. “Gorram stupid idea. Getting all prettied up when there ain’t no-one to look,” he explained, tossing back the shot quickly before grabbing a tall glass filled with something looking like polluted water from the tray Mal had brought back with him.

Simon took the glass Mal handed to him with a forced smile, taking a sip and scrunching his eyes. Therefore he missed the smirk Mal aimed at Jayne over his head, and the grin Jayne gave him in reply. Simon’s face took on a shocked look and he opened his eyes to turn as stunned look on Mal, who smiled at him.

“Whasssmatter Doc? Don’t it taste good?” he asked innocently.

“No. I mean yes, it does. This isn’t what I had before is it?” he asked, peering into the small glass as if it would tell him what it was.

“No it ain’t,” Mal replied. “You like this one better then?” he asked.

“Mmmm,” Simon replied, taking a larger gulp of the liquid and smiling.

“That’s right good,” Mal told him. “Was wondering if we’d ever find you a drink that didn’t make you look like you were swallowin’ nails,” Mal grinned, taking a bottle off of the tray and topping Simon’s glass up.

Jayne and Mal watched as Simon drank, hiding their grins behind the glasses and making sure to keep Simon’s glass topped up at all times.

By the time the bottle was about half gone, Simon was more than drunk, and Mal watched as this time Jayne’s hand crept up from Simon’s knee to closer to his groin without any resistance.

Mal smirked and laid his arm across the back of the booth behind Simon’s head, coincidentally putting his hand in the perfect position for him to rub the back of Simon’s neck with his fingers.

Jayne’s large hand finally covered Simon’s crotch and squeezed, eliciting a soft moan from Simon as his hips arched into the touch. Jayne nodded at Mal, who stood, helping Simon up as well, groping him liberally in the process.

“C’mon Simon. Time fer all good Doctor’s to be in bed,” Mal smirked, waiting for Jayne to stand as well before steering Simon in the direction of the exit. He stopped after a few paces and spun around, snatching up the bottle up off of the table and pushing the cork back in before stashing it in one of his pockets.

Jayne and Mal led Simon back towards the ship, which took longer as they kept stopping every few minutes to pull Simon into the dark alleys for more groping.

Simon was flying, his inhibitions gone along with half the buttons on his shirt. The heat from Mal and Jayne was intoxicating, and he found that he couldn’t care less about being manhandled and groped out in the open like this.

Finally they reached the outskirts of the backwater town and slipped into the night, heading back to where Serenity was hidden. They’d barely gone 20 feet before Simon had stopped and pulled Mal to him, pulling his head down roughly and into a kiss.

Jayne pressed in behind Simon as Mal took control of the kiss, holding his face in between his palms as he thoroughly investigated Simon’s mouth with his tongue. Simon shuddered in their arms, completely swept away by the emotions he was feeling. Mal and Jayne had always caused a reaction in him, even back when he had first boarded Serenity and Mal was nothing but psychotic and Jayne an untrained ape-man to him. But as he had got to know them, and their quasi-relationship had developed, the feelings in him had multiplied a hundredfold.

A small voice in his head whispered that his parents would be scandalised if they could see him now, looking debauched and rubbing up against two men. Men that they’d never, ever approve of. And that thought was enough to make him smile into the kiss he was sharing with Mal, even as he leaned back further into Jayne’s embrace, pushing his ass into Jayne’s crotch, delighting in the groan it elicited from the larger man.

Jayne growled and pulled him closer still, large, callused hands on his hips sending shivers down his spine. A rough tongue swiped at his neck, biting him none-too-gently as he arched and bucked between his two lovers.

He felt a hand on his pants and he groaned, pressing back against Jayne to give the hand enough room to get his pants open. A second hand joined the first, and Simon had to break the kiss and tip his head back against Jayne’s chest, suddenly unable to breathe. A hand on his cock sent shockwaves of heat through his body and a small whimper fell from his lips as they set a hard and fast pace.

He let out a cry as he felt Mal slide down his body and take his cock in his mouth, licking and swallowing around him as Jayne’s hand moved down to cup and play with his balls, surprisingly nimble fingers rolling and twisting them just shy of too much.

He was so worked up by everything his two lovers were doing to him, combined with the added sense of danger from doing this out in the open, so close to the town, sent Simon tipping over the edge at almost lightening speed, his nails biting into the massive arm that held him pinned against Jayne’s chest and teeth breaking the skin on his lip.

Two sets of hands were the only thing holding him upright for the next few minutes, until he came back to himself enough to stand on his own two feet. Opening blissed-out eyes, Simon came face to face with Mal’s smug grin and he frowned at him.

“Whassamatter?” he slurred, his brain still foggy from the double-whammy of orgasm and alcohol.

“Nuthin’ Simon,” Mal replied with a grin. “Just tryin’ to calculate how long it’s gonna take us to get back to Serenity is all.”

Jayne sniggered behind him, and Simon spun around to face him, managing not to land face-first in the dirt.

“Wha’s so funny to you then?” he asked.

Jayne tried to straighten his face out, but ended up looking even more guilty than he had before. Behind Simon, Mal rolled his eyes at Jayne and made a gesture for him to hurry up so they could get back to the ship.

“Nuthin’” he muttered too quickly. Simon raised an eyebrow, and even drunk it still made Jayne fold.

“It’s just, you’re usually so persnickity ‘bout the way you look and that. Yet you just let us grope you all the way through town, and then to top it all you let Mal blow you less ‘n 200 feet out of it.”

Simon looked back at the town, then across to Jayne and Mal, trying to connect what Jayne had just said with the memories in his alcohol-soaked mind. He looked at Mal and blinked, looking down at his own state of undress, back at Jayne and then blinked again.

“I’m not p..per…pers… like that,” he complained, his brain latching on to the first thing it could.

“Course you ain’t,” Mal placated him, stepping closer and pulling him towards the ship.

Jayne snorted softly but held his tongue; not wanting to hold up getting sexed any longer, something Mal was extremely grateful for.

They both ignored Simon as he continued to mutter mostly to himself about how no-one in the ‘verse ever understood him as Jayne stepped up to Simon’s other side. Between them they carefully steered him towards Serenity, already planning just what they were going to do next.



The End